“Fake it til you make it”

The mainstay of my program, Future Self Now, and indeed all Law of Attraction thinking is the idea of feeling yourself in your Now as the best self that you fundamentally know you are.

Some know this as ‘Fake it til you make it’. Although this is still good advice it needs to be clear that this confident person who you are ‘faking’ is still very much you. In your essence you ARE confident. You ARE lighthearted and courageous, beautiful and powerful. It’s just you’ve allowed other people’s stuff to cloud your knowledge of your greatness (we all do it). So it’s not faking it so much as transcending the rubbish that clouds the truth about ourselves.

Future Self by TreeA really good question I ask myself always is “What would my Future Self (or Best Self) do now?”

I loved this article from The Guardian’s Mariella Frostrup where she shares her strategy for attracting what she desires for the year by speaking as if she already has those desires. In other words she talks from the point of view of her Future Self.

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/dec/28/im-33-and-not-in-a-relationship-is-it-too-late

 

Our inner granny

 

Today I am 49; next week I will tip into my fifties.

It doesn’t worry me – in fact I’m looking forward to my fifties – but it all seems so theoretical. In my heart I’m 36. But I like the idea of my fifties because I’ve long thought that, from this time on, it would be ‘My Time’. I would be fully in my skin and unapologetic about my path.

Actually that instinct is largely correct. I do feel more ‘in my skin’ than I’ve every felt. I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out (much as I would have liked to believe that at times!) – of course I haven’t. It’s more that I am more willing than I’ve ever been to see myself as imperfect and to gain confidence with that thought.

I am perfectly imperfect!

Think of our image of an ideal granny. Even when we may be feeling bruised by life she only sees our greatness and gives us unending compassion. “It’s normal to bungle, to fail, to trip up,” she says. “Be patient, be kind, take very good care of the precious human being that you are.”

In my Future Self Now program we use our inner wisdom to help guide us forward – to inspire us with a joyful anticipation of what is to come and, at the same time, LOVE where we’re at right now. Our Future Selves, in other words, are like our inner grannies or grandpas.

I’ve just started a new 8 week course and if you’d like to be a fly-on-the-wall and follow some of the teachings yourself then simply ‘Like’ the Future Self Now Facebook page and you will receive updates on some of the tools and insights that we are experiencing.

Here’s a simple tip to leave you with: Your inner granny or grandpa is always wise and compassionate, so ask yourselves, whenever you need to,

“What would my inner granny/grandpa say to me now?”

 

 

The difference between Gratitude and Appreciation

I’ve just got back from a fabulous time at the Quest Festival in Devon. I had the absolute pleasure of running 4 workshops on Happiness, The Artist’s Way and ‘Future Self Now‘. Everyone who came to my sessions was really up for all the games and exercises that I love to throw at people. We had a fun time together!

Thinking about these past few days and how perfectly everything worked out, I’ve been feeling very moved today. I’m remembering, however, to make sure that I’m in a state of appreciation and not gratitude.

What’s the difference?

Well it’s this:

Gratitude is often a state of being pleased that something has worked out despite possible negative outcomes. E.g. “I’m grateful that my workshops worked out” (because they could have been a disaster!) or “I’m grateful that I had a smooth journey down to Devon” (because I could have got stuck in the normal jam around the M5). Gratitude, in other words, looks backwards and more often than not promotes the overcoming of something. It is has a sense of relief about it: –  “Phew I’m glad that that didn’t happen!”

Appreciation, on the other hand, is more a state of savouring a current reality. It is more firmly rooted in celebration and delight for the thing itself. Its about highlighting the positive and dwelling on the deliciousness of it.

So, what we’re talking about here is a difference in the emotional quality of the two words – not the words themselves.

Remember: What you pay attention to grows. So even though this talk of the difference between two words may seem like splitting hairs, it really does matter because Gratitude can trigger a focus on overcoming a negative in the past, whilst Appreciation lives very firmly in the savouring of the NOW.

So, new friends from Quest and old blog-buddies, I very definitely do not feel gratitude towards you (“thanks for liking me!”) – I APPRECIATE you in all your glory for who you are now and into the future!

We are one – scientific proof!

I’m doing some research around my program Future Self Now at the moment in order to contextualise it and attempt to  explain why the experience is so powerful. I’ll keep you posted as I go along but I wanted to share this fascinating research into ‘Mirror Neurons’ – neurons in the brain that help us empathise, copy and learn. The extraordinary thing about them is that brain scans show that even when we are NOT actually performing an action – like watching as opposed to playing a sport – we can actually experience it (and light up the same parts of the brain) as if we were doing that action.

Mirror Neurons are what make visualisation so powerful. This was illustrated in a test conducted by Dr. Blaslotto at the University of Chicago. He split basketball players into three groups and tested each group on how many free throws they could make.

After this, he had the first group practice free throws every day for an hour.

The second group just visualized themselves making free throws.

The third group did nothing.

After 30 days, he tested them again.

The first group improved by 24%.

The second group improved by 23% without touching a basketball!

The third group did not improve which was expected.

Now, to really blow your mind, watch this video about the power of mirror neurons. It seems science is starting to catch up to the ancient philosophies that teach that we are all one.

So this is where much of the power of Future Self Now lies – when doing the visualisation of our Future Selves we are creating a bridge between who we are being now and who we really are – ourselves at our most powerful. Mirror neurons are helping us ‘be’ our Future Selves, now.

I’m starting a new 5 week Future Self Now course at Hawkwood College in Stroud next week. There are a couple of spaces left if you are interested. To find out more visit www.futureselfnow.com

Blessings!

 

 

 

Who’s your travelling companion?

I heard this great metaphor today which I thought I’d share with you. It’s about the way we treat ourselves and a great reminder to be kind.

Imagine that you are about to go on a 5 day road trip with someone who’s recently been fired from their job. You really like this friend but right now you’re dreading this journey because you know it’s going to hard for her/him not to spend the whole time going over the pain of it all. This is your holiday and although you want to be supportive you’d also hoped to have a bit of fun!

Now imagine going on the same journey with a friend who’s feeling alive, frisky, joyous! You can’t wait because you know that this friend will bring a whole new dimension to things and above all make the holiday the fun ride you’d hoped for.

So often it’s the former friend we take along on our life’s journey. We put up listening to all our internal woes and anxieties when really we want to tap into that part of ourselves that is childlike, exuberant, excited and wise.

So we need to ask ourselves, ‘Which travelling companion do we choose?’

And …. shameless plug here …. if you’re interested in being with this joyous side of you more often, why not get in touch with him/her through my program, Future Self Now!

 

 – With thanks to Abraham Hicks –