A whole new ball-game

On Saturday my daughter becomes a teenager and today, as if in anticipation of that great event, we had to have our first ever serious heart-to-heart.

It’s a humbling thing watching your children grow and blossom into their own people, and not without its own sadness too. Once upon a time this young lady was my “little girl”, so cute, so delightful and, I hate to say it, but… so amenable. Gone are the days when she will take me at my word and obey without too much of a fuss!

It turns out Julia has had her own idea about how things should go with her life for a few weeks now and that’s led to the need for our heart-to-heart today. Julia is making a break for her independance and although my first instinct was to mete out punishment for her misdemeanours I’m glad to say I checked myself and decided to get advice from my oldest sister who’s been here before. Good move. Thanks Caroline!

With Caroline’s help I saw that I had created the situation somewhat by holding on too tightly to Julia – so much so that she resorted to cloak-and-dagger behaviour under the assumption that I wouldn’t listen to her needs. Hmmm. I talked to Julia about this, this afternoon and it went very well. She has accepted (even welcomed) the consequences of her actions (pocket money taken away etc.) but I have also promised her that I will make myself more available to listen in future so that she doesn’t feel she has to go behind my back.

Gosh, that was scary there for a minute! I realised that I’d found myself in a different room in Julia’s castle and I wasn’t prepared for the change of scene at all. Teenage-hood. A whole different game! I welcome it, but I’m clear I’ve got a lot to learn and I really couldn’t have a better teacher than my wonderful daughter, Julia.

2 Responses to A whole new ball-game

  1. Ah I remember this scenario well and it hurts. My youngest is 30 now and eldest 42 and all survived my single parenting! My philosophy is to provide Roots and Wings for them. The roots let them know that they belong and will always have a place to call ‘home’, and the wings let them know I respect their right to fly the nest and be their own people. The result is one living very happily in Vermont, one loving life in barcelona, One free spirit in Madrid, and my youngest living just behind me. All different, all making their own way in the world and all still in regular contact with me and more importantly with each other. SUCCESS x
    Good luck with the teenage years and NEVER polish their nubuck boots!!

    • Thanks Heaven Happens – that’s very comforting to know. I love that: ‘roots and wings’. I’d heard it before but had forgotten. Thank you for the timely reminder. All the best to your wonderful family. T.

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