Is lowering our expectations the answer?

The Daily Telegraph reported a year ago* that keeping expectations low may be the key to happiness – according to researchers at University College London.

“It is often said that you will be happier if your expectations are lower,” said lead author, Dr Robb Rutledge. “We find that there is some truth to this: lower expectations make it more likely that an outcome will exceed those expectations and have a positive impact on happiness.”

But the team also found that positive expectations can influence happiness before the outcome.

“If you have plans to meet a friend at your favourite restaurant, those positive expectations may increase your happiness as soon as you make the plan,” said Dr Rutledge. But the team found that visiting a favourite restaurant could actually make people unhappy because their expectations are so high that it would not take much for them to be disappointed.

The study was published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.”

They researched that! Nothing new here surely?

Are they saying you’re happier having your low expectations proven wrong or when you enjoy the anticipation of a looked-forward-to event? Surely all they ‘discovered’ is that both are true.

eeyoreThe problem with low expectations is that all sounds a bit like scarcity thinking to me. Remember Eeyore from the Winnie the Poo stories? His is not a joyful life! If your predilection is to ‘thinking the worst’ then you’re wasting valuable moments of your life sitting under a rain cloud when the odds are equally stacked that the outcome will be a good one.

In a 50-50 chance of good or bad outcome surely the enjoyment of the anticipation of something far outweighs any temporary disappointment that might occur?

AND ANYWAY…..remember Law of Attraction? What you pay attention to grows.

Think something will go wrong? It probably will!

Enjoy the anticipation of a great result? Bottom dollar you’ll get that too.

What do you choose?

 

* http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/11010871/Lowering-expectations-is-key-to-happiness.html

 

“Fake it til you make it”

The mainstay of my program, Future Self Now, and indeed all Law of Attraction thinking is the idea of feeling yourself in your Now as the best self that you fundamentally know you are.

Some know this as ‘Fake it til you make it’. Although this is still good advice it needs to be clear that this confident person who you are ‘faking’ is still very much you. In your essence you ARE confident. You ARE lighthearted and courageous, beautiful and powerful. It’s just you’ve allowed other people’s stuff to cloud your knowledge of your greatness (we all do it). So it’s not faking it so much as transcending the rubbish that clouds the truth about ourselves.

Future Self by TreeA really good question I ask myself always is “What would my Future Self (or Best Self) do now?”

I loved this article from The Guardian’s Mariella Frostrup where she shares her strategy for attracting what she desires for the year by speaking as if she already has those desires. In other words she talks from the point of view of her Future Self.

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/dec/28/im-33-and-not-in-a-relationship-is-it-too-late